Collection of Memories
by RustedEagleWings
Summary: Summery: Hikaru quit go after Sai left him and he moved with his family to America. But even as he finds a new obsession, go is still on his mind. Will Hikaru make his way back to Japan and his destiny with go?
1. Chapter 1

**Collection of Memories**

Summery: Hikaru quit go after Sai left him and he moved with his family to America. But even as he finds a new obsession, go is still on his mind. Will Hikaru make his way back to Japan and his destiny with go?

Disclaimer: Only the original idea is mine, not Hikaru no Go

**Prologue – The Disappearance of Shindou Hikaru.**

Hikaru woke up with a start. Something seemed wrong as the light fell into his room through half open curtains. He couldn't figure it out though. Maybe Sai would know.

"Hey, Sai…" His voice trailed off as he looked around for the go ghost. "Sai?"

It was strange for his personal go teacher not to make a ruckus when he found out Hikaru was awake. This morning Sai wasn't making any noise.

Hikaru stood up cautiously, noting a strange lightness in his head. "You aren't mad about me falling a sleep during our game, are you Sai?"

He tore his room apart from floor to ceiling but the ghost was nowhere to be found. Still dressed in yesterday's clothes, Hikaru ran for all his might, hoping to find Sai and for the strange feeling to go away. It was only when he knelt by Shuusaku's grave did Hikaru realize the feeling in his head was emptiness and that Sai was gone, probably for good.

-X-

"Hikaru, telephone." His mother called upstairs.

The sleepy boy came out of the room, dressed in pajamas and rubbing his eyes. "Who is it?"

"A friend, Waya."

Hikaru shook his head. "I can't talk to him."

Mitsuko frowned at her son. He had been acting odd ever since last week and hardly left the house. Hikaru only left for school but phone calls home revealed he never arrived at his destination. She had initially thought it was for go but when the Go Association called asking why he had missed his game, Mitsuko realized something was wrong. She gave a half reply to the person on the other end of the phone before hanging up to find Hikaru, who had retreated to his room.

-x-

The knock on the door received no answer so Mitsuko entered the room. She was surprised to see his precious goban covered up with a haphazard pile of Go Weekly and shoved in the corner.

"Hikaru," She began but stopped when she noticed him.

Her son sat on his bed, wrapped in a blanket and staring out the window. The look in his eyes alerted her to a problem that he wouldn't talk about. She had never seen his eyes so full of despair, yet void of emotion and she quietly left the room.

Anytime someone called for Hikaru, Mitsuko remembered the look in his eyes and covered for him, saying he was unavailable right now and he would get back to them as soon as he was able.

-X-

By June, the haunted look still hadn't left Hikaru's eyes. Mitsuko worried for him but Hikaru never shared his problem, only shook his head miserably.

Hikaru knew his mother worried about him but couldn't answer her questions. He had been gone from the Go World for almost a month now and still stayed at home whenever he wasn't by the grave of Shuusaku or wandering around.

This evening he was wandering the streets alone in the dark. Despite the disappearance of Sai, Hikaru still found himself talking to the ghost like he was there.

'Nice night, isn't it?'

He could imagine the ghost's gleeful reply or else hurried comment, either telling Hikaru to hurry up and get home or agreeing with the Hikaru's words.

'Yeah, I agree with ya, Sai.' It didn't matter what he was agreeing to, if only Sai could be with him.

He felt his eyes tear up and quickly brushed his sleeve against them. 'How about a game of blind go?'

…

'Yeah, I'll start.'

During the time Sai was still with him, Hikaru had made kifu of some of Sai's games. Some were games he and Sai had played together but most were with other people, from on the Internet or when Hikaru was the man in between in person.

It had already been a fairly large collection but in this past month, hundreds of games were transcribed onto paper from memory. The stack grew and grew as Hikaru committed each and every last game he remembered onto paper. They were mainly games Hikary played with Sai and some were other online games but several were games that Sai played in his past life, as Honnibo Shuusaku or even way back as the Emperor's go tutor.

Even with the games already in his memory, Hikaru studied the kifu. He replayed the games by himself, pulling out the goban that he could not look at without thinking of Sai. But he also played them mentally, analyzing the game as he went along and he did this now.

'4-12'

'13-5'

'4-10'

The beginning was quickest, as he could easily understand the reasons for marking territory but as the game progressed, he took the time to dissect Sai's moves.

'2-15, a good move. It connects the two pieces while blocking my advance.'

'17-12. It was meant to draw me in to protect that cluster and prevented me from attacking the weak spot over there.'

He tried to analyze the games like Sai, hearing the ghost's voice justifying the moves he made. Every now and then, Hikaru would think of a spot that would break Sai's formation or territory that might let Hikaru win but the voice he longed for in his mind never replied.

-X-

It was after dark that same night when he returned home. He cringed to think what his parents would say and he tried to enter the house as quietly as possible. But the light in the living room was on and both his parents turned as he entered.

"Um, hi." He said stupidly, not know what else to say. He looked at his father and realized he hadn't seen him in a really long time.

"Dad, you're back."

His father nodded and looked at his mother who looked at Hikaru. Already he could tell something was up by the look on his parent's faces.

"Hikaru, your father got a job transfer offer and seeing as you're going though something right now, we decided to accept. We're moving to America in about two months."

Hikaru frowned for a moment at the words even before their meaning sank in. "America? But what about the things here?"

His mother smiled sadly. "We thought that now would be the best time. You've been taking a break from school and go so we thought…"

"No!"

It came out sharper than Hikaru meant and he sputtered a moment as his parents looked at him.

"But I have to stay!"

Hikaru realized he knew what his parents were thinking before they voiced it. "Why?"

He didn't know what to say other than a "Because…" His voice trailed off as the only reason was because maybe his ghost might come back.

"Please can I stay?" He tried to change tactics but his parents saw through him. He was going to America, whether he liked it or not. And he definitely did not like it.

Hikaru sulked alone in his room for days but as it was hardly any different than the past month, his parents paid him no attention.

The only thing Hikaru was to do before leaving was pack up his room and inform the Go Association of the move. The first task was not going to be pleasant but he dreaded the second and vowed to put it off as long as necessary.

-X-X-X-

Waya looked at his phone in frustration. Just before Hikaru's mother had hung up, he had heard a few whispered words, words that were probably Hikaru. He growled.

"What happened? Anything new?"

Waya spun around to see Touya-2 dan behind him. Ever since Hikaru's disappearance a month ago, the two had joined forces to try to find their friend.

-x-

Akira had gone to Haze Junior High, looking for Hikaru. When he asked about his rival, others told him he hadn't been to school for a while, matching with how long he hadn't been seen at the Go Association. They all pointed him to a friend, who lived next door to him.

She introduced herself as Akari, a childhood friend of Hikaru's. She told Akira that Hikaru had seemed upset near the beginning of May and stopped coming to school shortly after. She had stopped by his house several times but his mother turned her away at the door, saying firmly that Hikaru wasn't up to visiting anyone at the moment.

Seeing the look of concern of Arira's face, she dug around and gave him Hikaru's number.

-x-

It was when Akira was trying the phone number Akari had given him that he and Waya joined forces. They were both worried about their friend. Waya had even hunted down Hikaru's house but he was blocked at the door. He had noticed Shindou-san looking at something that was hidden from view and guessed it was Hikaru shaking his head, judging from her reaction but he didn't want to make a scene and left. He would be able to get Hikaru back later, wouldn't he?

-X-

The first place Isumi went after returning from China was Waya's house. He had just been leaving the country when one of his new Chinese friends asked him if he knew what was wrong with a pro called Shindou Hikaru. When Isumi replied the affirmative, he was asked if he knew anything about what had happened to him. Not knowing anything about it, Isumi suffered on the flight, worrying about his friend.

-x-

"Isumi!" Waya looked surprised and Isumi couldn't blame him. His flight had only landed a little while ago and he had rushed across the city to see his friend.

"Waya, what is happening with Shindou-kun?"

Waya glanced behind him and Isumi noticed the other person in Waya's apartment.

"Touya-kun?"

The boy nodded. "We don't know what happened with Hikaru. His mother is screening his calls."

Isumi looked at him in confusion and looked at Waya, who nodded. "He stopped playing go some time in May and quit going to school as well. Even his childhood friend from school who Akira talked to said she hasn't seen him since early May."

"Early May?" Isumi was now wide-eyed with concern. "But it's almost July!"

The others nodded and Isumi frowned. "Where's his house? I'm going to talk to him."

-X-

The house was not what Isumi was expecting, for one thing there was a giant 'Sold!' sign in the front yard. He hoped that it wasn't the right house as he rung the doorbell.

The woman who answered was smiling but the expression on her face froze when she say who was at the door. Isumi introduced himself and asked to see Hikaru.

"I'm sorry but…"

A crash interrupted her and suddenly Hikaru was on the stairs, asking for a dustpan. When he saw Isumi, he froze before inviting him in.

"Come up to my room." He said, the need for the dustpan forgotten.

-x-

Isumi looked around at the mostly empty room. There were only boxes and the bed left in it. Hikaru looked around before offering Isumi a seat on the bed.

"So… You're back from China."

Isumi looked up, startled. He nodded.

Hikaru had been uncharacteristically silent ever since his mom had left after bringing up some drinks. There was a look in Hikaru's eyes that he couldn't place but he didn't like it. They were empty. Isumi realized that it was far too quiet.

"You're moving?"

Hikaru nodded. "Yeah."

"Is that why you're quitting go? You don't have to stop playing…" Isumi cut off when he saw the look in Hikaru's eyes. Sorrow.

"I didn't stop because I'm moving."

"Why then?"

But Hikaru stayed silent, shaking his head. The silence dragged on again and Isumi wondered what in the world had gotten Hikaru into this state.

"Will you play a game?"

Hikaru looked startled at the voice and Isumi wondered if he had forgotten he was here. The younger boy glanced around before signing.

"We can't. My goban's been sent already."

He suddenly jumped up and left the room. Isumi waited and contemplated whether or not Hikaru would be coming back. He pondered Hikaru's choice of words. Sent? How far was he moving?

The younger boy returned and shoved an envelope into Isumi's hands.

"Can you give this to the Go Association for me? I need to help my mom pack."

Somehow, Isumi found himself being ushered out the door by Hikaru. Just before the front door closed, Isumi managed to ask his question.

"Hikaru, where are you moving?"

The expression on the other boy's face was unreadable and Isumi wondered what the answer was going to be. Then Hikaru shook his head and pointed at the envelope Isumi was holding.

"That says."

And Hikaru closed the door.

Isumi wondered whether or not to open the letter and decided to wait until he was at the Go Association.

-X-

Touya Akira wondered what was up at the Go Association. There was a huge crowd around the reception desk and many people were talking at once. He tried to find out what was going on and finally spotted Waya talking to Isumi.

"What happened?" Although they still weren't friends, he and Waya both were more civil and talkative towards each other.

Waya looked up. "Isumi saw Hikaru."

"What, really?" Akira wondered what Isumi had that he didn't for Hikaru to talk to him. "What did he say?"

"He gave me this to bring here." Isumi handed Akira a note obviously written by Hikaru.

.~~~

Hey, Hikaru here (｡^-^) ﾉ

Umm… I'm not sure how to say this but I'm moving… To America.

Yup. So I won't be coming back. (;*△*;) Sorry.

I'm also sorry about missing those games. (´＿｀。) Yeah. Woops. My fault.

And it was my fault. Can't explain why… but sorry. (_ _)

I probably won't be playing you again but it was fun.

Bye. (T_T) v

P.S. Congrats of making 3-dan Touya! (v⌒-⌒v)

~~~.

"What?!" Akira looked at the other two boys in confusion. "He's moving?"

Waya and Isumi exchanged a glanced.

"Moved, actually."

"Moved?"

Isumi nodded. "It was my fault. I went home after seeing him; you know how I only came back from China yesterday, right? I slept in and then came here. By the time people read it; the Shindous already boarded the flight. They left early this morning. We only found out the details after calling Hikaru's grandfather."

Akira stopped listening. His rival had left him?

-X-X-X-

Hikaru was gone. The boy who had taken the Go World by storm vanished with hardly a trace. Although the Go Association could contact his grandfather, it soon became clear Hikaru wanted nothing more to do with the Go World. July 2001 was the last time anyone had seen the young pro.

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

This is only the beginning!

I have an idea of where I'm going from here but I'm not sure how much detail I'm going to put for part of it. It may take a little while but more will come!

Also, if Sai would take University courses, what would he take?  
(And no, Sai is not appearing in person in this fic. ;)

Tell me what you like!

Please Review!

- REW


	2. Chapter 2

**Collection of Memories**

Summery: Hikaru quit go after Sai left him and he moved with his family to America. But even as he finds a new obsession, go is still on his mind. Will Hikaru make his way back to Japan and his destiny with go?

Disclaimer: Only the original idea is mine, not Hikaru no Go

**Part One – The Art of America**

**Act One – The End of Junior High**

June 2002

Hikaru stood silently as people were called to the stage. He was at his grade 9 Farewell and in all honesty, he just wanted to go home. His suit annoyed him, reminding him of go but his mother had convinced him it was the best suit he had. She told him his friends would envy him but Hikaru turned away, confirming her suspicions that he hadn't made friends here in America. Throughout the school year, between learning better English and getting over Sai, he had developed into a quiet, serious boy with no friends. He knew others had whispered that they thought he thought he was too good for them but he didn't try to dispel the rumors; especially after they found out about his go career.

x-x

_He sat alone at the lunch table. The conversations in English went right over his head and although he knew some of the students spoke Japanese, they wouldn't talk with him. _

_Footsteps alerted him to someone's approach and he was surprised to see one of his classmates and not a teacher like he was expecting. He was even more surprised when the kid spoke in broken Japanese._

"_You... play go? Expertly?" _

_The kid obviously spoke English natively and was only a beginner Japanese speaker. _

_Hikaru sighed. "You mean professionally." He replied in Japanese. _

_The kid grinned. "This be you?_

_He shoved a couple of pages printed off the Internet into Hikaru's face. The person in question read them and realized they were an English version of the Weekly Go magazine. Hikaru could just barely understand what the pages said. _

_To his dismay, it was a page that listed his forfeits. The title of the article was something along the lines of 'Disappearing Go Career' but Hikaru guessed he had messed up the translation of it. _

_With the picture clearly depicting his one of a kind hairstyle, Hikaru couldn't deny it. He nodded. _

_The boy smiled at him. "Teach me? Grandpa wants me to play him."_

_Hikaru shook his head. _

"_I'm not playing anymore. I can't." He tried to clarify for the other boy but the meaning was lost in translation. _

_From then on, all the kids thought he was a stuck up kid and left him alone. Hikaru started letting his blond hair grow out and didn't bleach it again._

x-x

The principal began calling up students who won awards. He started off each time with an explanation on what the award was, what the student had done to get the award and then he announced the name of the award winner.

Hikaru wished he could just sneak out and leave but his parents had already been informed that he would be winning an award and wanted to see him on the stage.

"The Visual Arts Award." The principal began a new speech. "This award is given to the student who excels in the visual arts program at this school. The student helped out in the arts room, entered the city wide Youth Arts Competition and won first in the acrylic category, despite being new to our county. This year's award winner is Hikaru Shindou."

As Hikaru walked across the stage to where the principal was standing, picture of some of his paintings were shown on an overhead projector.

A microwave with the reflection of a Japanese hat, the skeleton of a computer with people playing inside of it, an airplane with wings like a bird, looking alive as it flew, an umbrella that is half modern and half ancient Japanese.

x-x

_Hikaru looked at his timetable in dismay. Art? He didn't want to take art. But when he talked to the vice principal, it seemed he didn't have a choice if he wanted to go into high school next year. _

_At first he hated the class, painting vases and faces like the teacher wanted. But then came an assignment to paint what ever he wanted. Hikaru didn't know what to paint. He gazed about the classroom, hoping for inspiration when he spotted the microwave people used at lunch to heat up their food. _

_The painting started off normal enough, just lines and shading but soon Hikaru found his mind wandering. By the time he was done, there was a reflection of the hat Sai used to wear, just like the one time Hikaru had caught Sai examining the strange contraption. _

_Hikaru realized he found peace in painting and painted memories of Sai. Someone asked him what his inspiration was and he smiled sadly before telling then it was his friend's view of modern things. He once jokingly called the collection of paintings Past Views in a Modern World but the teacher was pleased with the name and it stuck. _

x-x

The principal smiled as he handed the small plaque and paper to Hikaru. The boy smiled and as he turned to leave, the principal stopped him. Hikaru could see his parents smiling in the crowd and a few other students staring at him. He wondered whether they were trying to figure out what he was like or if they just hated him.

The principal was speaking again and Hikaru mostly tuned him out. He managed to catch what the principal was saying to him rather than the audience thanks to his skill at listening to Sai.

"Hikaru, this is the painting that won the Youth Arts Competition. Can you tell u about it? I've heard you don't have it part of your other collection of paintings?"

The boy shook his head, making his blond tipped bands sway back and forth. "I have this painting is part of a new collection. It is called 4-11."

x-x

_The canvas was 17 by 18 inches and the background was completely black. A purple almost as dark as the black flowed like hair from the left hand corner to the opposite side. White circles stood out as well as the absence of colour almost in the form of dark circles from a grid like shape made of faint lines superimposed on everything._

_When Hikaru finished the painting, tears formed in his eyes. He could clearly see Sai in the flowing purple and in the hands. He recognized the formation of stones and could clearly remember which game he had played with Sai that these were from. _

_4-11. If he had moved two down, he would have had a chance. 4-11 was where he had lost._

_Hikaru thought of the games and images of Sai that haunted him every day. He felt relief from painting this picture and wondered if he would be free if he painted more. He decided he liked the idea._

x-x

Hikaru looked at the audience and said one more thing before turning and walking quickly off the stage, hoping to go home and rid himself of the suit.

"4-11 is the beginning of the Missing Collection and along with the collection Past Views of a Modern World, these are my Collection of Memories."

-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-

Woo! Next part is up!

Not much is happening in this chapter but I have more stuff coming in the next chapters. I think it's going to get sad before the fun stuff happens. Sorry!

Just going to say now I don't know a whole bunch about art so the descriptions of paintings from now on are probably going to suck but if you have ideas, I might put them in the fic.

I hope to have more soon!

Tell me what you like!

Please Review!

- REW


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